


this is why we cant have nice things

by aprilshxwers



Series: chatfic chaos [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, F/M, I Tried, M/M, SO, Will Solace is a Good Boyfriend, and just a friend in general, and yes i wrote it to procrastinate on my other fic, annabeth is competitive as hell, but thats not a tag, everyone is confused, honestly just, idk - Freeform, just chatfic crack is all u need to know, percy does stupid things, plot? we dont know her, possibly some hurt/comfort, yes this is a chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26428519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprilshxwers/pseuds/aprilshxwers
Summary: Distance doesn't stop shenanigans from happening. From Europe, to New York, to California, they still manage to be as chaotic as possible.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: chatfic chaos [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028184
Comments: 34
Kudos: 124





	1. leo's back, baby

_leo has made a groupchat: hey guys miss me_

annabeth: hey what is this

percy: who made their contact name leo come on not funny

nico: curse you and all of your your posterity valdez

jason: no nico its not leo someones just is fooling around 

nico: nonono

nico: i got this scroll thing

leo: you got it!!

piper: what scroll thing

leo: well i sent u guys a scroll saying that im ok and all that but then i found out that i can actually use phones without dying??

annabeth: yeah well the whole 'monsters can sense demigods' was bc of this daughter of hecate like eons ago and then somehow the hecate cabin managed to make it so phones dont get us killed immediately!

annabeth: anyways bye

percy: wait leos alive??

leo: yo thats wicked

will: oh hey leo

percy: guys??

piper: so when r u coming back to camp

piper: we miss you :(

jason: i second that

nico: you DIED 

nico: i hate you so much right now what in hades

percy: how

leo: exactly how can you hate me

percy: thats not what i meant 

percy: how are you alive

jason: yeah its like impossible to hate leo

leo: awww

will: is everyone just ignoring percy?

nico: who?

percy: rude

percy: where's annabeth? she wouldnt stand for this

will: i dunno

will: hey guys where's annabeth?

piper: me and annabeth are getting people for capture the flag tomorrow

percy: why did you answer will but not me?

jason: leo can you make it to camp soon? :c

leo: honestly idk

piper: yall are gonna get BEAT losers we got the ares kids with us

leo: catch me up?

percy: i bet that the blue team would lose without me

piper: yeah

piper: now it's big three + whoever joins them vs. athena cabin and the majority of the camp

piper: because no one wants to go against annabeth

leo: aw man that sounds fun

leo: whos on the big three team

will: uh just them and our cabin

jason: and we all know why wills on our team ;)

nico: i dont

nico: we're all going to die and it'll be percy's fault

jason: can't you make sure we get good places in elysium

nico: haha good luck im staying at my dads palace 

percy: cant nico just shadow travel to the flag and back

will: no

will: do you want him to die

nico: well 

leo: dying isnt fun trust me

leo: wheres my peeps frank and hazel

jason: approving my temple plans with the senate

leo: boring

will: yet important

will: to prevent the minor gods from getting angry and revolting and stuff

leo: and stuff

leo: so you guys.. dont have a plan? against annabeth?

nico: no we're screwed basically

jason: piper can i switch teams

piper: ily but no

percy: why are our girlfriends so mean 

nico: this is why i dont have one

jason: that is not the reason you dont have one

leo: dont bully him

percy: oop i forgot leo doesnt know

jason: yeah dude everyone knows

leo: wow its almost like i died or something

nico: still mad at you about that

jason: pls come back soon

leo: ill try 

leo: we're nearing albania

leo: i miss yrbwjrtb

will: what happened

nico: albania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? kudos? (: love yall


	2. percy no

leo: how am i alive that was crazy 

leo: i was two inches away from death and total embarrassment

leo: i dont know which ones worse

leo: thank the gods for calypso

will: is albania that bad?

nico: yes now shut up and come back to the infirmary

nico: percy why did you cut off paolo's arm

will: are yoU JOKING THATS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK

will: omw 

nico: kaylas handling it ok for now but ellis just walked in with an arrow in his ear

will: oh my gods

percy: it was an accident

percy: riptide fell out of my pocket and just

percy: slash

annabeth: we still beat you so ha

annabeth: i DARE you to challenge me again 

percy: ive learned my lesson

annabeth: good

annabeth: love you seaweed brain

percy: love you wise girl

hazel: leo!!!

leo: hazel!!!

frank: did you say calypso?

leo: frank!!!

leo: did i not mention that i rescued calypso?

percy: no

piper: ship ship ship

piper: pretty sure jason agrees with me but the hecate cabin turned him into a pig

annabeth: ask her about me

leo: ok

leo: she rolled her eyes and said "percy's not my type anymore"

percy: hmph

percy: three people

percy: THREE

annabeth: whos the third one?

percy: rachel

annabeth: ah

nico: i love her already

leo: well i love her more 

hazel: <33 i also boat it

piper: ship but close enough

frank: tell her i said thank you for making sure my lifeline doesnt burn up

leo: "leonidas please be quiet and let me sleep"

leo: thats my mamacita

hazel: ?

hazel: little mom?

nico: i dont get it either

frank: wait really?

frank: youre honestly so scary i just thought

annabeth: no theyre both innocent babies

percy: hey nico what do you call your dad

annabeth: percy why even

piper: let it be

nico: hades? the lord of the underworld? reaper of souls? 

hazel: or pluto

percy: dang it

will: hi please stop doing this bye 

piper: imagine stopping in the middle of surgery just to tell percy to stop ruining your boyfriend

nico: when did you do surgery

piper: no not me

nico: ..okay???

frank: this is a train wreck

frank: hazel do you want to go get a croissant before we lose our last two brain cells?

hazel: theres only two???

annabeth: sweetie you need to leave quickly


	3. only tears and pain

percy: help

percy: annabeth just passed out

piper: i thought you said sassed u out and honestly wasnt surprised

percy: no but it was so random

percy: like jason-passing-out-random

jason: look around for bricks

percy: none

jason: man idk then

hazel: like fell asleep passed out or knocked unconscious?

percy: i dunno she just collapsed

frank: i-

leo: am i being woken up at 3 am for this

leo: muting ok bye gn

frank: maybe ask will?

frank: he might have experience with people passing out for no reason

will: unfortunately

will: thanks to a certain idiot who is currently asleep because he used his stupid shadow travel when i told him not to

will: but no im not salty what makes you think that

piper: will

piper: sunshine

piper: best healer at chb

piper: my favorite blond

jason: :c

will: no

piper: please

piper: tell us what to do

will: i dont know the circumstances

hazel: percy elaborate

percy: she just crashe

percy: ohMy gODs 

hazel: uh

annabeth: cofe

frank: you ok annabeth?

annabeth: cofee

hazel: get her coffee?

annabeth: yeas

percy: shes already had like 5 cups though i thought there was a limit

will: AND YOU WONDER WHY SHE PASSED OUT

piper: PERCY

percy: so no coffee?

annabeth: plese

piper: shes not spelling things correctly this is bad

will: get her water

percy: I CAN DO THAT

jason: bro go save your girl

percy: i will bro

annabeth: gross i think that cringe exchange just removed all traces of caffeine in my system

hazel: you spelled everthing in that sentence right!

hazel: good job percy you did it

jason: and jason

hazel: i mean it wasnt that much of a compliment but yes you helped too

annabeth: ugh time to work on my dumb essay

annabeth: pauls great as percys stepdad but as an english teacher i want to strangle him

percy: kinky

percy: oH WAIT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT PAUL

nico: what did i just read

_will has removed nico from the chat_

frank: honest mood

frank: but it'd be more of a punishment for him to have to stay

will: good point

_will has added nico to the chat_

nico: I SAID IM SORRY

will: YEAH WELL WE'LL BOTH BE SORRY IF YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME

piper: otp fight this is iconic

jason: yeah its going to end with "you cant just go do stupid stuff thats going to get you killed do you have any idea what that'd do to me"

will: YOU CANT JUST GO DO STUPID STUFF THATS GOING TO GET YOU KILLED DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'D DO TO ME

will: wait

nico: IM SORRY

frank: its even better because im pretty sure nico doesnt know what an otp is

will: do you?

nico: no not really

will: ok

will: sorry ill stop using caps lock now

nico: so you're not mad at me

will: no i wasnt mad i was just disappointed

hazel: aw

percy: are we going to ignore the fact that will just turned into a dad

jason: yes

nico: whats an otp

piper: only tears and pain

annabeth: sounds like this essay am i right


	4. you learn something new everyday

piper: wOAH

_piper had removed nico from the chat_

piper: WILL

will: what

annabeth: did you remove nico to yell at will

piper: no i just wanna talk

leo: spill the tea sis

frank: 'i just wanna talk' seems very passive aggressive

hazel: if you hurt your best medic i feel like thats not good piper

piper: ok ANYWAYS

piper: DID YOU KISS THAT ONE GIRL FROM NIKE

hazel: i take that back

will: what even

jason: woah woah woah

leo: why is this a big deal

leo: i mean if i can get a girlfriend, its no surprise he could

percy: what about neeks? does he know??

will: why is that relevant

will: like at all

percy: because hes kind of yknow

percy: your boyfriend

leo: oh well i take everything back as well

annabeth: explain

will: since when???

jason: exactly how long has this been going on

will: ok so first of all

will: nico isnt my boyfriend??

frank: you guys broke up?

will: NO

hazel: uh pretty sure that means he's still your boyfriend

will: we've never even dated???

will: i thought yall were joking every time you called us boyfriends oh my god

leo: "yall"

leo: disgrace to all texans

annabeth: wait

annabeth: but last Monday

will: for the last time

will: i was bandaging his arm??

percy: i dont sit on your lap when you 'bandage my arm' William

hazel: percy!

will: 1. i actually dont have an explanation for that tbh 2. my name isnt william 3. shut up

piper: wait but

piper: but 

jason: well time to cry

frank: isnt that a bit much

jason: my otp isnt canon apparently so no its perfectly acceptable

will: i- 

annabeth: so are you dating nike girl

will: no

will: one date full of "i finished first!" or "my orders better!" was enough

will: she even made fun of my shoes 

leo: were they adidas

will: crocs

leo: oh well i dont blame her

jason: thank the gods theres still a chance

piper: dont worry guys we'll get this ship sailing soon enough

hazel: we should probably delete all this before we add nico back

hazel: he honestly probably hasnt even noticed

_annabeth has deleted 56 messages._

_annabeth has added nico to the chat._

piper: perfectly normal nothing has happened no hearts have been broken

jason: especially not mine

percy: my trust in wills choice of footwear has though

frank: footwear

frank: yes completely

frank: that was all we talked about

annabeth: and frank isnt bad at lying at all

nico: you guys are weird

leo: hey so you like boys?

nico: ???

nico: um i guess?

leo: ok honest question: am i hot?

nico: no

hazel: leo you've already gotten an answer to this question by multiple people with attraction towards males

leo: hazel 

hazel: love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tower of neros coming out soon!! ghjhcfgvhbjgh


	5. normal??? english???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh burning maze spoilers i guess

percy: do you think i'd look good in this dress

nico: yes

percy: i havent send the picture yet??

nico: no i just want to see you in a dress

nico: educational purposes.

hazel: i agree

annabeth: i think everyone agrees

percy: cool 

_percy has sent an attachment: <aquamarinewithlacewhataqueen.jpg>_

hazel: i love this century so so much

nico: im scared what might have happened if i had left camp halfblood

jason: ^

will: ^^

nico: do you two just appear everytime i talk about leaving camp halfblood

jason: no maybe sometimes yes absolutely

will: im concerned about that sentence but yes

annabeth: i am absolutely appalled

leo: oo big words

leo: scrumptious

piper: what the heck does that mean

annabeth: you don't know what scrumptious means?

piper: NO

piper: i mean yes

piper: i meant what was the context behind what he said

annabeth: honestly i dont know

jason: oh hey pipes

piper: hey :)

piper: so we're good, right?

jason: i'd hope so :)

leo: tea?

frank: leo you're not even here

leo: ok how about you come back to life with only a dragon and a nymph who's been locked up in an island for thousands of years and absolutely no dirt but the stuff underneath you

frank: i-

frank: i'm sorry..?

leo: exactly

nico: i mean i like coffee better 

piper: what

jason: honey no

hazel: boomer

annabeth: i just spit out my water what did you just say

hazel: i've lived in a camp with modern day demigods for like almost a year i know slang

frank: wait so how doesnt nico get the majority of things we say

will: "i'm the dark lord no one loves me bleghh im not going to interact with anyone"

nico: i hate you

jason: no you dont

frank: welp

leo: ok so back to piper and jason

piper: oh yeah we broke up

jason: its cool though

piper: yeah

annabeth: well that was anticlimactic

percy: GUYS IM DONE

_percy has sent an attachment: <amipretty.jpg>_

nico: i take back everything bad ive ever said to you percy youre my favorite

percy: TAKE THAT JASON

percy: does this mean what i think it means

nico: no

annabeth: its ok percy you're still my type

annabeth: but i mean if pipers single now-

piper: ofc babe ;)

will: no homo though

jason: yes homo we'll make hera q u a k e 

nico: can nobody here speak normal english

frank: i can speak bear

frank: and dog

frank: and cat

frank: and dragon

leo: no

leo: thats spanish for no

percy: now someone help me take this off


	6. treason

frank: uh

frank: has anyone seen reyna

hazel: shes not at the forum or the city

leo: well shes not in russia

frank: why are you in russia?

leo: we took a wrong turn

hazel: i dont know what to say to that

leo: yeah but i couldve sworn i saw this dwarf in a speedo or something

leo: i think jet lags getting to me

percy: that sounds scarring

piper: reynas missing?

annabeth: how do you guys just lose a praetor

jason: well actually that seems to be a regular occurrence

annabeth: oh yeah

leo: that seems like bad management tbh

frank: the first time jason was kidnapped, percy ran away on the argo ii and now whatever this is

percy: guys chiron just stormed out of the big house

percy: who do you thinks in trouble

piper: you, probably

percy: this time its not me

will: guys

will: did i just see reyna in cabin 13

frank: why???

hazel: i TOLD him kidnapping praetors was illegal

will: hera did it

jason: screw her

jason: DID A COW JUST APPEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CABIN WHEN I SAID THAT

annabeth: why we hate hera: reason 345432134

jason: im out

piper: whatever youre out as we'll support you

jason: thats not-

jason: ok ANYWAY

jason: who wants to venture into the depths of cabin 13 with me

leo: wait a few months and i'll be there

hazel: thats a long time :c

frank: yeah the majority of the legion is hoping to punch you

leo: yknow what maybe i wont come back

piper: you better

jason: oh my gods hvghbjvghjbvm

percy: what

jason: i can confirm nico did kidnap reyna

jason: chiron just made him come out

percy: cupid already did that though

annabeth: percy shh and let jason continue because i dont want to get out of bed to actually see whats going on

jason: he just said something and now chiron looks perplexed

will: im close enough to see that he used puppy eyes on chiron ooohh snap

leo: does that work on horses

hazel: he's only like 50% horse

frank: i know for a fact puppy eyes work on horses

will: chiron said "i'll make a exception, but please remember, we do not want another war" and left

percy: THIS IS SO UNFAIR

percy: ID GET IN TROUBLE IF I KIDNAPPED REYNA

jason: yeah but it's nico

annabeth: ^

piper: ^

leo: ^

frank: ^

will: ^

hazel: ^

percy: well dam

leo: stop using inside jokes no one here understands

percy: :(

will: im pretty sure this means he just commited treason or something

hazel: its okay, he has two praetors and one centurion on his side (and probably dakota too), and he's too cute for anyone to get mad at

percy: and on the other hand i can barely stay in a single school for a whole year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for keeping up with my crappy updating and crackhead content
> 
> comments are yummy


	7. *war flashbacks*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent updated this in forever

_PM >>> William Solace_

nico: hey, you up?

nico: that was a dumb question

nico: sorry

will: no no its fine

will: i was restocking even though kayla and austin would kill me if they knew i wasnt asleep at like twelve in the morning oop-

will: anyways whats up 

will: trouble falling asleep?

nico: mm a little

nico: just a nightmare

nico: kinda just wanted someone to talk to

will: im always here if you wanna talk

will: was it tartarus?

nico: no

nico: yknow about the river lethe thing?

will: yeah

will: doesnt sound like a fun place to take a swim

nico: it really wasnt

nico: ok well sometimes i get these flashbacks from before the lotus hotel and everything

nico: and its just

nico: i remembered my mom talking about... people like me

will: people like you?

will: oh

will: im not saying homophobia isnt completely gone, it definitely isnt, but it's better

will: but if anyone bothers you about it i will literally throw hands

nico: can you come to my cabin?

nico: wait no sorry 

nico: dont get in trouble

will: oh sweet innocent nico

will: trouble never stopped me

nico: yeah but the harpies can

will: let them try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i going to write a oneshot for will coming over to nico's cabin to talk? absolutely


	8. the big reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recommend reading my oneshot 'my youth is yours' (yes the title is cheesy as hell but whatever) before - or honestly even after - reading this

percy: guys guys gays

percy: oops

leo: eh it works

annabeth: fair

annabeth: whats wrong

percy: nothing

percy: :D

frank: thats sus

piper: gvhjgmbj

frank: i pressed send early im so sorry 

frank: im not THAT cringy

hazel: debatable

hazel: the H + F 4EVER?

frank: that was a good idea

hazel: hmm sure

nico: better get my bridesmaids dress ready

hazel: i thought you would be flower boy?

nico: i can be both

piper: that was so gay i cant-

nico: says you

nico: you ran into my cabin at like 4 am to talk about a cute girl you saw last week

piper: hmm and you were sleeping with will so you cant say shit, di angelo

piper: <333

jason: back up back up

jason: what

percy: when was this

nico: she doesnt know what shes talking about

annabeth: lemme get some popcorn

hazel: reyna wants to see this

_hazel has added reyna to the chat_.

nico: oh my g o d s

reyna: shut up youre basically my adopted little brother 

reyna: wheres solace i just wanna talk

leo: notice how will is conveniently not here

jason: @will

jason: exPLAIn

will: what

will: oh yeah

will: hold up im helping my mom make stuffing ill be done in a sec

reyna: what the 

reyna: heck

leo: nice save

nico: bye

_nico has left the chat_.

piper: its funny because theyre making it seem worse than it actually is

piper: they were cuddling

reyna: i was bout to throw hands

piper: it was so cute i might have melted

hazel: awww

piper: i WOULD have pictures but i got hit by a pillow

frank: you tried at least

_reyna has added nico to the chat_.

reyna: you have a boyfriend???

nico: no

reyna: aurum just sniffed my phone and barked

nico: unfair

annabeth: wait wait wait

annabeth: ga s p

will: ok im done whats up

will: reyna your dogs can detect lies through text??

reyna: thats your response?

will: ok well the other thing i already knew so 

jason: i-

jason: since when???

nico: last week

frank: i call flower boy

nico: cvghgjhbhbjfv

frank: ex a ct ly

will: guys it hasnt even been that long-

leo: we've been waiting for a long time

will: youre not even her e??

leo: goes to show how obvious yall are smh

will: mm youre right

nico: i feel betrayed

will: im sorry he's right

percy: where even are you guys

nico: texas

jason: im sorry what

will: yeah??? its thanksgiving

percy: our dinners probably gonna be wild

percy: pregnancy cravings and all that

hazel: youre pregnant????

hazel: how much has changed in this century

frank: im sobbing

annabeth: im gonna be a dad :')

annabeth: nico can be godfather

nico: aww love you too

leo: was that,,,, affection????

nico: yes,,,, it was????

nico: not for you though, sorry 💕💕

piper: off topic but i thought those two would end up together on the argo 2

reyna: nico and leo?

reyna: um how about n o

annabeth: argo II*

piper: potato potato

piper: uh that doesnt really work through text does it

frank: wait but why

piper: because you cant hear that its po-tay-to and po-tah-to

frank: i know that-

frank: i meant why you thought nico and leo would end up together

piper: oh 

piper: yeah well you know the whole 'seventh wheel' thing?

piper: nico was with us on the ship and yknow single and that would have been like the perfect loophole for what nemesis had said 

percy: excuse me he was into me at that point so no

will: i-

will: piper really just went from "aww you guys are together" to "valdangelo?"

leo: did you just make a ship name for me and your boyfriend

frank: its not even that bad of a ship name either

jason: i could do better

jason: nevermind i cant

reyna: this is such a stupid conversation

will: ^

leo: youre just salty cuz you know i can steal your man 💅💅

will: mm no but its funny to see you try

leo: bet

nico: im right here???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so chaotic tfguyhuj  
> but for real im still not completely sure how valdangelo came about? like?? they barely had any even friendly interaction tbh


	9. the day after

jason: nico and will just came out of the hades cabin laughing really hard and i feel like if i dont know why theyre laughing i'll be forever unhappy, always wondering

leo: out of nicos cabin

leo: at seven in the morning

leo: hmmMm

hazel: i-

hazel: @nico come here

nico: oh hey good morning

reyna: how is will allowed to sleep in your cabin

nico: we got a note

frank: those doctor notes are probably killing chiron

nico: no

nico: its from dionysus

percy: sorry wha T 

percy: the same dionysus who doesnt even know my name?

annabeth: i think we've established nico as the favorite

nico: yeah, look

_nico has sent an attachment: <permissionfromthewinedude.jpg>_

frank: "i give will smith permission to stay in nico di angelo's cabin for medical purposes"

piper: wow dont you just love having will smith in your cabin for medical purposes

will: its close enough eh

percy: that-

percy: that says nico di angelo

percy: not like nickel deli algae or something

frank: nickel deli algae

percy: idk man

jason: guys shut up and let nickel and will smith tell me why they were laughing

will: so you know how we were at my mom's for thanksgiving

leo: no but lets say we did

will: ok well we were, and my extended family was there too

will: grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, all that jazz

will: and we were just talking around the table while we waited for the cornbread to finish baking and then one of my uncles asks me if i've met any girls that happened to "catch my eye"

annabeth: i think i know where this is going and im ready for it

will: shh

will: anyways they KNOW im bi and choose to ignore it because they're basic southern assholes (mind the language, im sorry nico and hazel, i had to)

hazel: considering the circumstances, you are excused

will: thanks

will: and so then one of my aunts oh so casually starts talking about how thankful she is that her family's so pure and touched by god and all that, which considering my dad, is kind of funny, but thats beside the point

will: and she just straight up starts talking shit in the most polite way about everything and everyone that isnt straight, white, cis, etc. (again, mind the language)

will: then my mom comes with the most fakest grin on her face and slams the pan of cornbread down and says "hope there's enough sugar for you."

leo: oH MY GODS IM CACKLING

frank: i dont get it?

leo: southerners are very opiniated about savory cornbread

piper: s o b b i n g

will: everyone's just staring at her with huge eyes but then she just smiles and asks everyone to say their thanks 

jason: i can feel the climax

percy: woah keep it pg-13 dude

jason: fghbvg

nico: be quiet 

nico: this is the good part

will: yeah, and so when its my turn i do the thing about my family, my life, all that good stuff, and then just "and i also thank the gods for actually giving me a chance with the hot piece of ass that is my boyfriend, amen."

nico: it was hilarious

reyna: any doubts i may have had about this relationship went vamoose 

jason: doubts? not possible

will: and then i kissed him 

will: the end

frank: such an inspirational story to us all

annabeth: my thanksgiving dinner with my dead cousin seems so bland in comparison now

percy: anything seems bland in comparison to passive-aggressively bashing prejudiced family members

leo: except for the cornbread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really just self-projected there


	10. smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im not dead

reyna: smh

percy: why

reyna: i dont know, i just feel very smh today

nico: :) 

nico: reyna. :)

nico: please. speak. english. :)

hazel: shaking my head

nico: what did i do

leo: choose solace over me

nico: i hate everyone

_nico has left the chat_

leo: D:

hazel: he didnt even get what smh meant rvbynjuhgfv

annabeth: smh

jason: guys look at my eggs

piper: jason youre making it really hard for me to vibe to girl in red rn

jason: thats gay

percy: haha me the first time i met luke

annabeth: oh gross we had the same type then

percy: tall, older, muscular blondes? who doesnt??

will: short brunettes are quite adorable

reyna: nicos always the exception

piper: all of you are gonna start simping so im going to stop you right there

reyna: disgusting

jason: e g g

frank: i can try to lay those

hazel: please no

hazel: jason are you okay-

jason: yes

_jason has sent an attachment: <eggs.jpg>_

frank: im confused

jason: youre all uncultured

_jason has added nico to the chat_

jason: my eggs

nico: oh my gods that is gorgeous

annabeth: why

nico: do you see the eggs

reyna: i thought you were sane

percy: omg eggs

annabeth: someone explain

nico: large eggs

will: you may be like half a foot shorter than me but hon you sound hella high

reyna: hecka*

will: why

reyna: >:( 

reyna: im not going to let you near nico if you keep using those words 

nico: hella

reyna: bitch-

reyna: wait oh shit

_reyna has deleted two messages._

hazel: reyna.

frank: we all saw that-

percy: mhm

annabeth: not allowed in my christian minecraft server

leo: technically i made this gc so its my christian minecraft server

* * *

_annabeth has made a group chat: MY christian minecraft server_

annabeth: already so much better than leo's

annabeth: oh my gods wait

_annabeth has turned on custom naming._

_annabeth has changed percy's name to: perky_

perky: ilysm

leo: this is pettiness on a whole new level

hazel: i wouldnt expect anything less 

piper: mood

reyna: smh

jason: back to where we left off

jason: eggs

nico: ^

perky: ^^

frank: confused but ^^^

will: im going to ignore this egg thing because c u s t o m n a m e s

_will has changed hazel's name to: nutella_

_will has changed frank's name to: hotdog_

_will has changed nico's name to: sunshine_ _  
_

_will has changed annabeth's name to: annie bell_

_will has changed jason's name to: sparky_

_will has changed reyna's name to: scary lady_

_will has changed piper's name to: pipe cleaner_

_will has changed leo's name to: leonidas_

leonidas: JMNHUBYGVCFDREFVG

leonidas: HOW DID YOU KNOW

will: wait actually?

will: i just put that as a joke-

_leonidas has changed their name to: hot stuff_

_hot stuff has changed will's name to: fuck you_

fuck you: sorry im taken

annie bell: READ THE GROUP CHAT NAME 

_annie bell has changed fuck you's name to: glowstick_

nutella: i dont get my name

glowstick: hazel = hazelnut = nutella

nutella: that is perfect and i love you 

perky: aw theyre already manifesting in-law statuses

pipecleaner: i better get adopted into this family

hotdog: we're all related though technically

pipe cleaner: rhyrtfdsdf

sunshine: william andrew solace, you have officially broken my trust by making this my name

glowstick: NICO I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON THE FULL NAME THING

perky: WILLIAM ANDREW SOLACE 

scary lady: good gods, youre whiter than i thought

scary lady: this is such an uncreative name smh

_sparky has changed scary lady's name to: rara_

rara: i trusted you

sparky: e g g


	11. rights revoked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this at like 3 am last night (or this morning, i guess) so beware  
> oh also i just want to point out that literally all the innuendos and stuff in this fic are purely my crap gen z humor and not intended to be actually taken in a sexual context because u n d e r a g e

_[To: Piper Mclean]_

dumb blonde: piper what the freaking frick frack fuck

sapphic mess: yes william i know youre a simp

dumb blonde: you had no right to let nico send that picture nhjbgytfvghb

sapphic mess: shut up i was the one who did his makeup

sapphic mess: smh

dumb blonde: do you un de r sta nd

dumb blonde: IM GAY PANICKING A LOT RIGHT NOW HELP

sapphic mess: woah im so surprised :/

dumb blonde: </333

dumb blonde: the eyeliner how dare you

_sapphic mess_ _has sent an attachment: <ohyoumeanthis?.jpg>_

sapphic mess: istg nicos like the most perfect human to do this shit on

dumb blonde: *most perfect human, period

dumb blonde: id gladly let him punch me in the face

_sapphic mess has added 'actual baby' to the chat._

dumb blonde: i-

actual baby: hm?

actual baby: ????

actual baby: not another one of these things

sapphic mess: just read

dumb blonde: hi nico baby sweetheart youre great and you dont have to do that you can leave if youd like :)))

sapphic mess: if you say shit like that hes definitely not going to leave thats so suspicious

sapphic mess: wait are my cursing privileges removed because nicos here

actual baby: honestly i dont care if you curse

actual baby: also ???

sapphic mess: '???' to what

actual baby: 1. will babe you're sweet but i dont get why you'd want me to punch you??? 2. please change my name

_sapphic mess has changed actual baby's name to: gay disaster_

sapphic mess: we match now :D  
  


sapphic mess: also idk i guess will's just a masochist or something

dumb blonde: STOP JHBGFVCTDERTGFH

_sapphic mess changed dumb blonde's name to: masochist_

masochist: this relationship is toxic smh piper

sapphic mess: but you'd like that wouldnt you

masochist: WHAT THE JBHGVFCTD THATS NOT NBHGFTR

masochist: rights REVOKED

gay disaster: why did you bring me here i hate it

masochist: I DIDNT BRING YOU HERE PLEASE LOVE ME

sapphic mess: stop you have to be het here

masochist: stfu do you see your name

sapphic mess: no homo

gay disaster: uh okay

gay disaster: i was about to go get hot chocolate before you added me here, do you want any?

masochist: jnbhgf wait really oh my gods youre amazing???

sapphic mess: nico youre a marvel, a real delight, we are truly blessed to have you on this earth, actual perfection, like no wonder your last name means angel smh, i'd be straight for you 10/10 like wow will really doesnt know what he's been given but i mean you lowkey give me bottom vibes so i guess it works and you probably dont know what that means so i can use it on you and it wont matter ahahaha but i wont because i love you and youre amazing and living personification of a miracle. please yes, i would love hot chocolate, especially from you because like i mentioned you're amazing and perfect and adorable and yes. 

masochist: delete this

masochist: delete it now

gay disaster: oh well i was actually planning on saying "haha too bad im not getting you any" after you both said yes but now im mainly confused

masochist: wow okay rude i guess thats what i mean to you but also?? im so sorry you had to read that hbgvfcdxfcgvh

sapphic mess: NICO HOW DARE YOU

sapphic mess: GO SIT ON A COUNTER OR SOMETHING

masochist: STOp

gay disaster: >:(

sapphic mess: of course you use that emoticon smh

masochist: JNHBGVFGGV STOP CALLING MY BOYFRIEND A BOTTOM IM-

sapphic mess: HE DUPED ME I HAVE THE RIGHT

gay disaster: will you can still come pick the hot chocolate up with me if you want to

sapphic mess: wait no i was kidding i love you

gay disaster: hmmm no

masochist: HAHAHA SUCKS TO SUCK

masochist: hey nico are you still wearing that eyeliner by any chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so many keyboard smashes  
> im really projecting my Gayness on here


End file.
